Monday, October 24, 2011

The Minister's Daughter

Dear Scarlett,
Gay marriage became legal in New York on July 24, 2011. It was big news--and great news. This weekend, our friends Lem and Derek, who have been together for 10 years, made their relationship official in a beautiful wedding ceremony, which Dad and I attended. Well, I attended. Dad had a slightly larger role. A few days before the wedding, Dad and I received an email from Derek. The friend who was going to officiate the wedding had a family emergency, and Derek was asking if Dad would marry them. It was such an unbelievable honor.

Of course Dad said yes right away, and then we set out to get him ordained as a minister. A surprisingly simple process, but with that kind of timing, we did have to get some paperwork overnighted to New York so that it would be there when he arrived, and he then had to spend some time at the City Clerk's office in order to register as a Minister in New York. Dad said the City Clerk's office was one of the happiest places he's ever been, full of people getting married or getting their marriage licenses, and all so excited about what the future held for them.

Dad worked hard writing the ceremony for the wedding, putting down his thoughts about what marriage means to him. He told Lem and Derek and 120 wedding guests that the most successful relationships he's been around have a few things in common:

1. That they always look "easy"
2. That he enjoys being around both people because they truly respect each other
3. That both people are better as a result of the relationship
4. That both partners credit the other for their success
5. That you end up hoping that your own relationship is as healthy and balanced as theirs--the respect, appreciation and love for one another is obvious.

He then shared some really lovely things that Lem and Derek had said about each other, before leading them through their vows and pronouncing them husband and husband. It was an incredible ceremony and I was so proud of Dad. Afterwards, we got him a well-deserved glass of champagne, and spent the rest of the night laughing, talking and celebrating.

You stayed home in San Francisco with Nonnie, Nana and Aunt Lizzie (with what sounds like regular appearances from Uncle Rob). I'm told you ate well, slept well, and danced in a drum circle at Golden Gate Park, shaking a little pair of maracas that one of the musicians handed you. I missed you, but it was a very quick trip--not even 48 hours.

Now Nonnie is trying to get you to refer to Dad as "Reverend Daddy." Lem calls him "Preacher." Others call him "Father Rob." I just call him the Minister--which means I am now a Minister's wife and you are a Minister's daughter. Let's keep this in mind when we're out in public, shall we?

Love,
Mom

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Rest Period

Dear Scarlett,
When I decided to quit my job and stay home with you full-time, I wondered if I would blog more or less often. The verdict is in, and I definitely blog less. Forgive me for saying this, but when you go down for a nap and I have some time to myself, I can think of other ways to spend it. We are together almost all the time now, which is incredible. I get to see all of your milestones (and experience all of your moods.) Yesterday during a video chat with Nonnie, you said her name correctly for the first time. Prior to that, you've been saying "Nana" and driving her nuts. You got a new bib with an owl on it and you want to wear it all the time, even in the bath. When I tried to take it off of you after dinner last night, you screamed. Right now you're napping with it. Although a quick glance at the monitor confirms that neither you nor your owl bib are sleeping.

We've had a rough week and a half because you've been sick with an ear infection. And just like last time, you were resistant to your medication and it took us some time to figure that out. So now you're on a new antibiotic and you are finally sleeping at night, which means Dad and I are finally sleeping at night. Did I mention it's been rough? I have actually felt my brain cells fogging up this week as they search for the right words in conversations. I went to a much-needed yoga class last night, and although my balance was off, I think my head cleared a little.

The teacher told us to leave the day behind, shut out all thoughts of the night ahead, and just try to be in the moment. And I was surprised to find that when I closed my eyes and concentrated only on my internal state and my breathing, that you were there with me. It sounds ridiculous now that I've written it down, but it's true. I was there, inside myself, and you were there, too. I know you so well. When you say "fwubuh" I know it means "spider" and "flower." Apparently you see similarities between the two. I know that "duggah' means you want your kitten blanket from Grandma, and that when you are fussy and irritable, I can sing one song to you--any song--but after that I cannot switch songs. And there are things I know about you that I can't even explain in words. I wonder if I'll always feel like you're a part of me, or if that will change as you grow older and it's not as easy to figure you out.

I just turned up the monitor and it sounds like a flock of birds is in your bedroom with you. You are a noisy little thing, just singing and talking to yourself. You literally have not stopped speaking for an entire hour. Here is what you are saying now: "Stout. Oh, Stout. Stoutie!" Stout is what you call yourself, so I am sitting here highly entertained. I do value time to myself, and this is why I can't spend every day writing about you and listening to you while you nap. But today, it happens to be exactly what I want to do.

Love,
Mom

Friday, October 7, 2011

Monday, October 3, 2011