Dear Scarlett,
Gay marriage became legal in New York on July 24, 2011. It was big news--and great news. This weekend, our friends Lem and Derek, who have been together for 10 years, made their relationship official in a beautiful wedding ceremony, which Dad and I attended. Well, I attended. Dad had a slightly larger role. A few days before the wedding, Dad and I received an email from Derek. The friend who was going to officiate the wedding had a family emergency, and Derek was asking if Dad would marry them. It was such an unbelievable honor.
Of course Dad said yes right away, and then we set out to get him ordained as a minister. A surprisingly simple process, but with that kind of timing, we did have to get some paperwork overnighted to New York so that it would be there when he arrived, and he then had to spend some time at the City Clerk's office in order to register as a Minister in New York. Dad said the City Clerk's office was one of the happiest places he's ever been, full of people getting married or getting their marriage licenses, and all so excited about what the future held for them.
Dad worked hard writing the ceremony for the wedding, putting down his thoughts about what marriage means to him. He told Lem and Derek and 120 wedding guests that the most successful relationships he's been around have a few things in common:
1. That they always look "easy"
2. That he enjoys being around both people because they truly respect each other
3. That both people are better as a result of the relationship
4. That both partners credit the other for their success
5. That you end up hoping that your own relationship is as healthy and balanced as theirs--the respect, appreciation and love for one another is obvious.
He then shared some really lovely things that Lem and Derek had said about each other, before leading them through their vows and pronouncing them husband and husband. It was an incredible ceremony and I was so proud of Dad. Afterwards, we got him a well-deserved glass of champagne, and spent the rest of the night laughing, talking and celebrating.
You stayed home in San Francisco with Nonnie, Nana and Aunt Lizzie (with what sounds like regular appearances from Uncle Rob). I'm told you ate well, slept well, and danced in a drum circle at Golden Gate Park, shaking a little pair of maracas that one of the musicians handed you. I missed you, but it was a very quick trip--not even 48 hours.
Now Nonnie is trying to get you to refer to Dad as "Reverend Daddy." Lem calls him "Preacher." Others call him "Father Rob." I just call him the Minister--which means I am now a Minister's wife and you are a Minister's daughter. Let's keep this in mind when we're out in public, shall we?
Love,
Mom
