First Birthday!

My darling Scarlett,
Happy first birthday! You are really a whole year old. Dad and I keep thinking back to this time a year ago, when we were still shocked and awed at the experience of bringing you into the world. When you were small, and somewhat yellow, and very, very sleepy. Now you are a healthy one-year-old, pink and full of energy. You have entire "conversations" with stuffed animals, you hold onto our hands and walk around on pigeon toes. You love to dance and you think it's hilarious to spit on people.

I wonder when you'll start reading these letters. I often picture you reading them when you're grown up, knowing everything that came after, but still coming back to this place to see how it was before. I used to feel a little scared and sad about you getting older. I worried that I was only going to be good at the baby part. But the older you get, the more I realize, it's just you. The person who I love to near obsession. I suppose there will still be times when I feel nostalgic and sad that you're growing so fast. But mostly I hope I'm just able to be grateful for how amazing it is to watch this all happen, to see you become a person with thoughts and ideas, maybe even a person who doesn't spit on others for sport.

A year ago, Dad and I were at the hospital, saying to each other "I can't believe people do this more than once!" and really meaning it. That feeling has faded, but I can still remember exactly where your Dad was standing, staring out the window into the very early San Francisco morning, holding you. Make no mistake, we understood why people did it once. You were everything to us the moment we saw you.

Your first year has been a lot of things. There have been challenges and exhaustion, and the learning curve has been staggering. But I have quite literally never had so much fun in my life.

I love you, birthday girl.
Mom